Let’s see.
Red China tries to kill our kids with lead-filled crayons. They send us tainted food products. They send us tainted pharmaceuticals. They launch massive cyber-attacks on our sensitive military, intelligence, banking, and power grid computers. They are making an all-out effort to penetrate our intelligence and confidential business information with plants and bribes and turned agents. They are buying up the Panama Canal zone. They own a big chunk of our debt. They have taken probably millions of jobs from Americans and effectively lowered our standard of living. They now have hundreds of billions of American dollars to engage a massive military buildup to match, then surpass our own security forces.
Do you trust Red China?
What do you think of your elected leaders who have promoted this situation? Did they represent what you wanted? Or did they betray your trust?
It brings much sadness to see outside agitators disturb Chinese serenity in these great and glorious decades of Harmony and growth. At a time when our happy Panda is opening its gates of joyous hospitality to athletes and auto makers from around the eccentric World, we find the greedy and selfish Taiwanese so noisily refusing to accept their Fate; and in the mountain provinces, cultish Buddhists and even savage Muslims, some of them with weapons, unwilling to accept a peaceful Fate; and in the cities, misguided Christians who refuse to accept their magical religion’s Fate; and in the People’s universities, spoiled graduate students who refuse to embrace the Fate prepared for them; and in the numberless prisons, so many otherwise honorable and beloved Chinese who await a Fate they refuse to accept! How their ancestors lament!
Is this not unfortunate, that the longsuffering junta in Beijing that rules with benign care and ever-increasing precision over all the cities and villages and businesses profitable and not so profitable—is it not unfortunate that such a caring and longsuffering Father Government should be embarrassed by disharmony in its house even as the guests arrive? But do not be of sorrow, for wise old China has seen many things and yet always has endured. Your family Bush understands our great and glorious Fate, and is always welcome in the People’s house to hear our happy gimmick band of twelve Chinese girls as cute as Hello Kitty. Tiananmen is all clean now of human pulp made by tank treads.
So come. And be happy too!